Success :
How Failure Affects our Lives.
Coaching Failure - How Failure Affects Our Lives
By Douglas
Woods
Some people, including some coaches and some self improvement
‘gurus’, may tell you that there is no such thing as failure. Yet, when
you look around, you will see that failure, the fear of failure or the
desire to avoid failure seem to be all around us and affecting the lives
of almost everyone in one way or another.
How many of us, as adults, can honestly raise our hand and say that
we have never experienced failure? How many sportsmen, athletes or team
players can say that they have always been successful in every event
they have participated? How many fans, spectators or television viewers
can say that their team or sportsman has always won? How many salesmen
or businessmen can say that they have always gotten the best deal they
could? How many of us can say that we have always achieved the best we
could?
Almost every teacher can tell you of pupils who rarely seem to do
their best or rarely try to do anything new, because they are afraid of
failing. So they stick with what they already know. As an adult, has
there never been a time when you have turned down an opportunity to do
something, such as, say, a parachute jump, a flight in an aeroplane, a
fairground ride, meeting someone important, speaking in public, simply
because you were worried about failing or appearing foolish?
If we look at our lives and the lives of those around us, we would
see that failure is very much a part of life and can have a big effect
on how we live our life and what decisions we make. Failure, the fear of
failing or the expectation of failing, can hold us back in life and stop
us doing some of the things we would really like to do or maybe even
need to do.
It is how we interpret failure that really affects us, rather than
failure itself. It is the fear of failing that may hold us back rather
than any actual failure. It is the expectation of failure or the
possibility of failing that makes us reluctant to try something new.
The future is full of possibilities. It is our fear that we might
fail that limits our choice of possibilities. Our failings are always in
the past either in the distant past or in the immediate past and we
often believe that because we have experienced past failure that we will
continue to experience failure in the future.
Failure, though, is really determined by how we experience or
interpret outcomes. Changing the way we interpret those outcomes can
help us overcome our fear of failing in the future. By overcoming our
fear of failure, we start to open up all the possibilities for the
future. This is the positive outcome which could be achieved by
coaching.
This could be done by focusing on what we perceive as ‘failure’ and
re-examining or re-interpreting the outcomes. Rather than simply
brushing it under the carpet or ignoring it, any ‘failure’ should be
directly examined. By ignoring any ‘failure’, we will not prevent it
from having an effect upon us. Instead we need to examine it and
re-interpret it so that it is no longer seen as a failure and no longer
seen as something that holds us back.
Doug Woods is a qualified teacher, life coach, counsellor and
trainer. You can find out more about his work at his website
www.dougwoods.com
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